It bothers me exceedingly much to realize that I have been preaching to myself and not listening. It is not that I have purposely been arrogant. But it is quite ironic that much of the stuff I have written on judging others, maturity and being sensitive to the weak brother I have violated myself. Hypocrisy is not the proper word for it because I am not pretending to be someone I am not. I earnestly believe the things I have said and never pretended to get it right in practice. But I could be faulted for thinking (just a tiny bit) that I was a little better off than I was - until I read the passages in 1 Timothy and Titus about the qualifications of being an overseer or elder. Sorry but after reading these passages I have been struck with the realization of how immature I really am. I have also been struck with the wisdom my church has shown in carefully choosing godly men who are above reproach. I am everything that I should not be in that daunting list. It is not a wonder to me now why most men on our elder board are at least 50 years old. There is a reason for it. But in all honesty, give me 20 more years and perhaps the Lord will have worked self-control and discipline into this stubborn heart of mine so that I might be thoughtful in my responses instead of reactionary and thinking the worst of everyone. God have mercy on me a sinner!
-Joe
p.s: This will be my last post for a while. I am unqualified to continue for fear that my immaturity will lead others, who bother to read my rants, astray...
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