Christianity Today

This is my first post.  I want to ask a question for my reader(s) to think about.  For those who claim to be Christian - whether you in fact are or not is another question we could discuss at another time - what exactly does being a Christian supposed to look like as it pertains to how you live your life? 
What I mean is simply this:  As I am from the Reformed (Calvinistic) viewpoint (or worldview).  What this means is that I view my faith in a particular way.  I believe in God's sovereignty in all things temporal and eternal (or spiritual) and that nothing I can do could ever screw up God's will or plan.  In other words my God is all powerful and enters into my world to effect it (or change it) according to His perfect plan of which he predestined and foreordained before time began.  The choices I make can in no wise prevent him from accomplishing what he desires.  The ramifications of this doctrinal belief (in part) makes others very, very uncomfortable; especially those of Arminian persuasion:  i.e. Weslyan, Methodists, Nazarene, etc.  For these group members like to think that God waits on them to make the right decision.  Then as long as they continue to make the right decision their salvation is secure.

The problem is that both of these viewpoints contradict each other and I find it almost impossible to agree in almost anything biblical.  So as I begin to reason from the scripture on these hard, doctrinal issues with these individuals (many are my own relatives) the reaction is merely one of indifference; like these things are essentially unimportant - the most important thing is that we share the gospel with those who do not know (never mind that the question of how we do this is has it basis in doctrine - but they forget this or choose to ignore it).  So the result here is that there is no mutual encouragment and fellowship.  Family events end up merely social gatherings without any real depth or spiritual edification.  We read in scripure that the church met together to encourage one another in their mutual faith.  Their reason for gathering was because of Christ and the joy he brought to them.  But Paul also warned them against false teaching that would elevate human understanding up to a level it did not belong.  I know from my own experience.  I get easily deceived into thinking humanistic thoughts.  This is called pride.  When we get easily offended and resent our brother or sister for pointing these things out to us, then we might think a little too highly of ourselves and should, instead, humble ourselves and grow in grace.  My family cannot understand these things and instead would rather utilize their own understanding to make sense of the deep things of God that are readily available for their own enlightenment.  But coming from me, they readily reject it.  Yet they are Christian too!

For you who are reformed in your faith, do you find this similarily true for you in speaking to other Christians who do not share your worldview?  I can only pray that God would lift the veil that shields their minds from grasping the truths of the gospel.  For all I see is the new growth of despair and hopelessness evident in the lives of their children and those they work with.  Those who grasp truly the riches of the grace of Jesus Christ and take his word seriously have hope eternal that transcends our life's various troubles.  It is no longer, "life is hard"; but it is "life is good because I know my God is with me."

-Joe